Tips for Combating Wedding Stress
Whether you are a bride or a groom-to-be, planning your wedding can be a time of great stress. Here are a few tips to help mitigate the stress of planning your big day.
Many times, brides and grooms experience stress about different aspects of planning their wedding. Brides are usually more emotional and anxious about the details of the wedding while grooms can be more concerned about finances or other aspects of the wedding day itself.
Expect that there will be stress in planning your wedding. Why? There are a lot of decisions to be made, many details to be worked out, and others may want or try to influence you. That is not bad or wrong; it just requires that you and your fiance be aware of what is really happening.
Try to respond to issues and avoid reacting to things. One of the greatest challenges facing brides and grooms is their feelings of wanting to satisfy everyone. There are so many people involved -- family, friends and relatives. Setting realistic expectations is very important. Don't expect perfection. Expect a "terrific" day. Setting expectations that are too high will create stress and lead to frustration, and then, in turn, more stress.
Feeling stressed about certain elements of the wedding such as saying your wedding vows or your first dance? Then visualize the event. Spend some quiet time alone; relax and really visualize in your mind the events going smoothly. Do this exercise several times a day if you need to! One of the best ways to combat stress is to exercise. When things start getting out of control -- STOP. Take a break and go to the gym or go for a brisk walk.
There are always some people (relatives or friends) that know how to "push your buttons". When you are feeling very stressed... be sure to stay away from or at least limit your time with these people.
Wedding planning can also cause a great deal of stress between the bride and the groom. Individually, they should be aware of their thresholds for stress, and how much stress they can handle in a given time period. If you notice that one of you is nearing your "threshold", then take a short break from your wedding planning and do something fun together.
Parents can also experience wedding stress as their children get married and leave "the nest". This is commonly referred to as "separation anxiety". It can be a time of great anxiety for the parents which can then create stress and highly emotional issues for the bride and groom. Being aware of what is happening, REALLY happening, is a big part of dealing with and managing stress.
Time pressure can cause a great deal of stress. Don't try and do everything yourself. Delegate as much as you can to others. Use the Internet to help you plan and communicate.
Are you and your fiance arguing more than normal? Realize that this is to be expected because you are spending more time on wedding planning than you are spending on your relationship. That's why it is so important to take time away from wedding planning and spend time with each other. A romantic dinner, a bike ride, whatever you both like to do together -- just don't discuss the wedding plans!
Lastly, don't forget about the big picture. If you keep in mind what your wedding is supposed to be about, you can minimize stress and truly enjoy your wedding day.
- Varnita Leppo is with K&E Bridal Consultants in Upper Darby, PA, and has been a WedPlan Member since Jun 2005.